So, I am in the pool one morning this week, swimming laps, two lengths of breast stroke, one length of backstroke, over and over until I have a nice rhythm going and the world falls away, and I am in my happy place.  Then I turn to the side and see the woman swimming in the lane next to mine.  Immediately my brain leaves its happy place and starts to think - is she swimming faster than me, how old is she, should I pace her?  You get the idea.  It takes a lap or two for me to disengage and return to my happy place.

Then I go on line and see a few transformation posts and at first I am thrilled for everyone I am looking at and then that same silly part of my brain starts to think - did he/she do better than me, boy I’d like to have legs like that, wish I could say I weigh XXXXXXX (*you fill in the blank).  There it goes again, I am no longer happy.  It takes some hard looks at my before and after pics to get rid of those thoughts and return to the pure joy of cheering others on their journeys, with the knowledge that I did great, I look good, and I am who I am and that is exactly as it should be.

I grew up in a highly competitive atmosphere.  I wanted the attention that my two brothers were constantly getting.  They seemed to act out and Mom and Dad would take lots of time with them.  I, on the other hand, was a good girl- a bit of a goody two shoes and tried to get the attention by overachieving at whatever I could, to be the polar opposite of my older brothers.  They didn’t pay attention, or do their homework, and constantly got in trouble at school.  I always excelled in school, straight A’s until my junior year in high school when I was given a B+ in a senior honors English class.  Yes I was 15 years old and in a senior honors class but was mortified by this lesser grade.  (LOL).  I graduated high school at 16 years old, went on to college and then, seeing as it was 1965, began my acting out.

Here we are, 53 years later and I still strive to be the top of the class.  I know better, I have learned that humans are beautiful in our imperfections and they are our individuality.  It is this difference between each of us that needs celebrating, NOT comparing.  I am not 12 years old, I do not need to be better than Jane Doe in math, or language arts, or basketball, or weight loss surgery success.

I spent too many years comparing myself to others, trying to not keep up with the Joneses, but be better than them.  These are the years that, when I reflect on them, I didn’t like myself very much.  Once I learned to love myself, as I am right now, in this moment, or any moment, I learned I was enough.  Yes, I am enough.  I can be more if I choose, set a goal and create and execute an action plan to get there, but the reality is I am enough.  I am worthy of my own love and respect.

Don’t let comparison steal all your joy.  You are enough, you are worthy of self-love. 

Be sure to tell yourself that every day.