I remember being wheeled into the operating room in 2004 with hope in my heart yet my brain was still screaming WHAT IF I FAIL?

I went through with the surgery, have had results not typical since day one, am thrilled that I chose my Lap Band surgery in 2004 so that I could begin living my life again.

Every time I hit a plateau with a week or two of no loss I began to freak as my brain jumped right to THIS IS YOU FAILING AGAIN.

Somehow, I shut it off, got back to it, and as I reclaimed my confidence the pounds kept coming off.

Then I noticed my jeans were a little tight and the scale told me why.  I reviewed what I had been doing and realized my portions were getting a little bit bigger and I was allowing a few too many foo-foo coffees into my life.  I still heard my brain screaming WHAT IF YOU CAN’T LOSE THAT REGAIN?  It didn’t matter that it was only five pounds, that horrible screechy voice in my head was trying it’s best to turn me into the dieter who failed. 

This with the scale down 245 pounds instead of 250 and my head still somehow perceived that as failure.  The reality - it was simply a lack of attention - it was the mindlessness of eating and drinking whatever I felt like in the moment - without any thought to my actions.  Hmmm I remember a statement that goes – “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”.  The reaction was my body saying it would not, actually could not stay where I wanted it to be, if I didn’t pay attention to it.  This was NOT failure, it was learning.

Here I am, almost 14 years post-op still learning things about my body and my mind.  One of the many learnings over these 14 years has been that failure is not an option for me!

When that ugly, screechy voice tries to shout in my head that I am failing I merely stage whisper back smiling, and WHAT IF I SUCCEED?

So, you see it’s not the answer that matters at all.  It is the question.  Be sure you are asking yourself the right question.

What might happen if you succeeded?  What would that look like?  What would it feel like?  Are you smiling?  I am.