Happy Thanksgiving!  As my family sits around the dinner table I ask each one in turn what they are grateful for.  The answers I get vary substantially based on the ages of those responding.  However, one thing carries through everyone’s reply:  If you think about it, regardless of what life has placed in your path you can always find something to be grateful for. 

If it’s a difficult time in your life, and we all have them, build on that one thing, no matter how small it may be.  Take that positive thought and use it to turn the negatives we all have running through our heads - into positives as well.  Put on those rose colored glasses, not to deny the realities of life, but rather to find the positives.

I don’t know about you, but I have always found that it takes less energy, creates fewer headaches and meltdowns if I find a positive way to look at life.  CALM is good.  I can think clearly and respond to life instead of reacting to it.

You may ask how do I do this?  How do I stay positive all the time?  The answer is I am human and I don’t…  When I feel as if life is spinning out of my control sometimes I merely react to it and the end results are often not good.  To put it mildly it’s not a pretty picture.  Eating junk can, and does, enter the picture - as does shouting and irrational statements.  Then I remember that this is too hard, I don’t like feeling this way and I go to the happy place in my head and follow the steps that I follow during the times when I won’t let the negative voice win.  And, BTW, since I have had weight loss surgery the negative voice is winning fewer times.  (With the positive result being eating less junk of course)

These are the steps I follow:

• I take three deep breaths and let my body and my mind relax as I exhale each one;
• Then I think about what is happening and determine if this is something I can control.  If it’s not I think about letting it go… yes, I know this is easier said than done…  if I am angry or afraid or sad because of what I cannot control, then I sit in that emotion for a while so I can feel it and get through it - accept what is,  and continue on with my life.
• If it’s something I can control then I stop and think about what I am feeling - is it overwhelm because I have too much to do - that’s an easy one - make a list, prioritize it, and start checking things off as I do them, since action is the only thing that will work.  Or is it something that requires me to make a different choice than I am used to - if so I choose push right through that discomfort and make that choice and see where it will take me… (Like getting in a public swimming pool at over 300 pounds to start my fitness program years ago)
• Once I create a course of action, I look for the positive in the situation, no matter how negative it may appear in the moment… what is there for me to learn, what can I take away from this that I can use in the future, what are all the possibilities, not just the negative ones.

In the end I make the choice to focus on the positives in the situation and move forward whether that means taking action to make something happen or setting it aside because there is in fact nothing I can do to change it.  That keeps me sane.

As the situations develop, the one thing I must do, without fail, is to find something to be grateful for, Living With Gratitude for even the smallest thing helps keep my perspective on the positive side. 

Today, at your Thanksgiving dinner, or later, or tomorrow, or the day after that take a moment and reflect on what you are grateful for.  I promise you it’s time well spent.