When last we spoke I shared with you that I was struggling.  I had a bit of regain and discovered that either I have a tubing or a port leak.  Since then my life continues, and as of this morning at 6 am I am 9 pounds lighter than I was when I first told you all about my issue.  Sometimes I think my surgeon plays games to get me to tune in to my own mind and be brutally honest with myself before he will go on to whatever the proscribed next step will be.  I have spent the last week going back and forth between feeling sorry for myself and putting on my big girl panties and just moving onward.  Amazing discovery!  Powerful insight for me.  Moving forward, coming up with a plan to deal with my situation as it is, today, right now, has the best outcome for both my physical and emotional health.

How did I get there you ask?  I spent some time throwing temper tantrums, crying, talking to anyone I could about what a crappy hand I had been dealt, and guess what happened?  I had trouble sleeping, concentrating, and was hungry much of the time regardless of how carefully I ate.  Then I committed to making ME the focus, rather than “my condition”.  Wow, what a relief!  I could set up a food plan, a water plan, an exercise plan, commit to all three and just move forward with my life.  I decided to let go of the negativity and stay present in the possibilities and starting sleeping and feeling better emotionally and physically and have not been nearly as hungry because I am paying attention to my body’s signals and using high fiber super low calorie foods like bell peppers, tomatoes, cucumber and have actually gone back to having SF Jell-O around for emergency sweet cravings.  I eat whenever I am hungry (not thirsty).  My choices are very mindful though.  I am trying to use me once again to educate the weight loss surgery community.  While I am clearly addicted to sugar/carbs/whatever you want to call it, they can only control me if I allow them to.  If they’re not in my food plan, they have no power…..well, they have less power anyway (wink, wink)

This situation is merely a bump in the road, some routine maintenance on me all the way around - much as changing the oil is routine maintenance on my car.  I will come out the other side of this a stronger, better, healthier, more emotionally stable person.  WHY, Because I CHOOSE TO.

Stay tuned to next week’s installment of as the Stoma turns………