I was taught by my Mom to never go outside without my hair combed, my teeth brushed and my face clean, or as I reached my teen age years never leave without make-up and your hair done.

Oh, I of course forgot - CLEAN UNDERWEAR was a must and when we asked why (like I was not going to change my undies daily) we were told that if you were in an accident the Doctors at the hospital would know you were a good person.  What - just how does clean underwear correlate to good person.  Anyway, I grew up never leaving the house unless I was fully dressed, combed, and made-up.

That was until my second year at college.  I was 17, it was 1965 and the women’s movement was into bra burning.  As a poor college student, I liked the idea of no bra - it saved me money and time.  My hair was long and straight, down to my waist and my “uniform” was jeans and a T-shirt or sweater and boots.  It was easy, makeup was optional and depended on my mood.  Still I wore clean underwear - just in case you needed to know.

Then I moved to Southern California from Brooklyn, New York and was back into wearing the latest styles, and wearing makeup daily.  My hair was still long and straight, but I was no longer ironing it.  I met my husband and after a two-and-a-half-week whirlwind romance we were married.  It’s been over 50 years, so I guess it was the right thing to do.

As time went on I went from overweight to obese, chopped off all of my hair and was into not leaving the property without my hair properly spiked and my makeup perfect.  When I fed the farm animals on our little ranch in the morning they didn’t care that I was in my bathrobe with boots on.  They didn’t squeal to my Mom, so it was okay.

Then I had weight loss surgery in 2004 after reaching an incredible 424 lbs.  My life began to change for the better almost immediately.  Now, over 14 years later I realize that those clothes and the hairstyles and the makeup were all part of my costume.  It was the costume of being a normal person.  I didn’t like myself or the way I looked or felt, so I thought that hiding behind the façade I drew in the mirror each day somehow protected me, much as my weight insulated me from reality.

As time went on and I began learning to LOVE the person I was as I looked in the mirror I realized that I didn’t need that costume any more.  I was no longer hiding behind a hairdo, or makeup or clothing.  I enjoyed getting dressed up and all fixed up and also enjoyed staying dressed down and uber casual. 

If my hair was messy I put a hat on it or just left it as is and put it behind my ears; if I had no makeup on - oh well, that’s the way I was born, and that’s the way I’ll die.  And, I am just as beautiful, inside and out, with or without the makeup and “fancy” clothes.  Sweats were just fine.

I am happy, possibly for the first time in my life these past several years.  Why?  Not because I lost all of the weight although that does help me feel good about myself.  It’s mostly because I have learned to love and accept myself with all my virtues and all my flaws.  I am ME and happy to be ME.

So, if you see my pics on line with no makeup, my hair a mess, or wet and stringy and all my lines and wrinkles it’s because I am loving the way I feel after a sweaty workout or a swim and am trying to share that feeling with you.  Oh, by the way, I still change my underwear daily.