Let’s face it, when I looked in the mirror in 2004 and saw a 424 pound woman staring back at me I was not happy.  But is that really what I saw when I looked?  I don’t think so.  I was so deep in denial of what I had allowed to happen to my body that today, almost 12 years later, I am not even sure I acknowledged my own girth.  If I did, how could I not do something about it? 

What I did finally acknowledge was that my high blood pressure was probably going to kill me if I didn’t medicate it, and do something about my weight.  That was my defining moment.  My arthritis, asthma, sleep apnea, and inability to move around freely hadn’t hit my brain yet, but this time the fear of dying while in my doctor’s office hit my brain like a sharpshooter hits the bulls eye on a target.  BAM!  Time to act. 

I put on my big girl panties, and went to a seminar about weight loss surgery given by my local bariatric surgeon.  I was sold and the rest is history.  Here I am almost 12 years later and 250 pounds lighter still wondering if I am really seeing ME when I look in the mirror.  Some days I am so excited by what I see and other days I pick myself apart.  Yes, I know, we all have good days and bad days.  The trick comes in having more good days than bad, and continuing to increase the number of good days each week.

My ultimate goal is to have 7 good days every week and 52 good weeks every year.  Pollyanna you say?  I say why not?  Having a good day is a choice, just as surgery was, just as my breakfast is.  I have the choice to start each day by looking in the mirror and saying, I LOVE YOU, You are a strong, beautiful woman who deserves to be happy.  The rest is easy, just keep at it each and every day.  Some days you will believe it, some days perhaps not.  As the days you believe what you are saying increase in number, you’ll find yourself believing in yourself and your power to create each day.  I’m not Clint Eastwood…  I’m not willing to turn that power over to someone or something else, so I look at myself each morning and can now add, “Make my day” to the image looking back at me.

I wish you all a beautiful, healthy, strong, loving Valentine’s Day, and keep that love of yourself growing stronger each day.  Find your self love, build your self esteem, remember - YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, LOVING, POWERFUL BEING, AND DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY.