Last week I attended a weight loss surgery support group meeting. I went for a number of reasons:
Interesting self-discovery about MY need for being part of a group since I present/facilitate support groups in person, on line, by phone, by video conference.
My journey began with a group - the informational seminar, and for years continued at least once a month, often twice a month with attendance at support groups and speaking at informational seminars and gradually worked into creating a web site, blogging my journey, being trained as a bariatric educator and coach and being in touch with this weight loss surgery community on many levels every single day, and very often evenings as well.
Yet still I seek out attendance at a local support group. Why might that be? We ALL need to belong. Furthermore, we need to belong to something greater than us each individually. While we may be secure in our journey and know exactly what we need to do to keep things moving forward it’s nice to talk with others, bounce my successes and my struggles off of someone else, see what worked for them, share what worked for me and know that we all walk out of the room a little bit richer, a little bit more upbeat and yes, even a little more secure in my own journey.
So why am I blogging about this? I wondered myself until I realized that when I left that meeting I did not leave with the feeling that I came to get. I did not feel supported - raised up, ready to take on the challenges that I might confront. THAT is what I go to a support group to get. I go for the rekindling of that FIRE - that contact and conversation that inspires and motivates me to go forward and face another day without chocolate chip cookies or sourdough bread.
What did I “get” at the meeting? I got to listen to folks introduce themselves and of the 9 people in the group I listened to 4 of them share their lack of motivation and their weight gain and the facilitator agree with them. I wanted to hug each and every one of these folks and have a one on one with them to see if I could get a little spark ignited in them, a smile on their face, some sort of positive reaction, but there wasn’t time for that. With 40% of those in attendance pouring out their hearts we got to eat apples mindfully and meditate on the feeling in our mouth. That was the topic of the meeting and staying on subject and ending on time was critical. Was that really more important than people in need of hope and help? Not to me.
The topic was a great one. Mindful eating is so very important on our journeys, and the meditation with the apple slice was a great example of the how of mindful eating. I am not minimizing the time or effort that goes into picking a subject and having a presentation ready. If folks are going to get to introduce themselves and where they are at, we must be ready to prop up those who are falling down before we can continue. That’s what support is all about after all.
Yesterday I attended another support group. This group has a few who lacked motivation, most support groups will have at least one of “those”, however most of the folks there had not yet had their surgery. They had their dates, or were going to get their scheduled date in the next week as we all soon found out in answer to the question share where you are in journey and something exciting that happened in the past week. This group went on for well over the scheduled hour, all topics intended were covered, questions were answered and folks left with HOPE in their hearts and on their faces.
May I respectfully suggest beginning a group with folks introducing themselves, what surgery they had, when they had it, and perhaps a “win” they have had in the past week? Let’s set up a group for success.
Now comes my choice. Do I attend another group at the same location as the first group and give it a chance that this was an “off” night? You bet.
Will I give it a third chance if the second one is equally non-supportive? NO! If my support system doesn’t move me forward then I have the responsibility to find something that does.
Where do you get your support?
Does your support system help move you in the direction you want to go?