So the Mayans were wrong, the world has not ended. Those of you who had their end of the world parties should be thoroughly recovered by now and planning for the end of the year. Wow, 2012 is almost over. Time to be a bit retrospective? Nope, I’ll save that for next week as the new year begins.
Here is where I am at today - I am a little off balance. Last night I left my dentist’s office at 6PM, went to my local grocery store to pick up a few things and found myself walking back and forth between the bakery and the aisle with the cookies and the crackers. I had already put the items in my cart that I had come for- Shirataki noodles and pasta sauce that was 50 calories per ½ cup and a game as the final holiday gift for my grandkids. Back and forth, looking, searching, hoping to find some miraculous zero calorie carbs that would feed the need for something salty and something sweet.
What in heaven’s name was that all about? I am still not sure. What I am sure of is that I bought peanut butter cookies from the bakery. You know those clear plastic containers with a dozen large cookies in them. Next thing I knew I was opening it in the car and eating one, then two, then three. By then I was home and had made a pact with myself that I would put them in the trash…..Guess what? Oh, you figured it out. Yep. I had another one while I put away the other groceries, and then another as I got my gym bag set up for the next morning.
Have you been counting? I have. That was six cookies…six good size cookies. They didn’t even taste that good so why did I keep on eating them? Because I was tired, cranky, hungry, sad, confused, worried. All of those, some of those or none of those. The peanut butter cookies did not help any one of them and I did NOT feel better after eating them. I felt awful as a matter of fact. I felt too full, bloated and angry with myself. Okay, now we are getting somewhere. Finally, at 6 cookies consumed I threw them in the trash- outside- the big, nasty can that left them irretrievable Yay me, not so much. I still needed to figure out what created the opening for me to go back to very, very old habits.
For my own clarity let’s review what I did wrong here:
Now, what did I do right:
How could I have avoided the mindless cookie choice? My answer is pretty simple. All I had to do was go home and have dinner before I went to the supermarket. If I couldn’t do that I could have gone to a coffee shop and got a hot flavored tea (no calories) and had it first before I went into the store, or sipped it as I shopped. I would have been satisfied and run into the store with my list and stuck to it and left. How do I know? Because that is what I have done over and over again for the past 8 years to avoid mindless “trash food” purchasing and mindless eating. It works. Maybe not 100% of the time, but it works often enough for me to have successfully lost 250 pounds and to catch myself sliding down those slippery slopes of old habits and changing direction.
Replacing old habits with new ones is key to long term success after lap band surgery. One habit at a time, one choice at a time. Each of us has the capacity to get it done. I feel better now because I have been honest with myself and all of you. It is a permanent life style change, not a quick fix and I will have to work at it for the rest of my life.