On May 28, 2012 it will be 8 years since my lap band surgery.  I am no longer obese, although my weight does fluctuate 10-20 pounds between a normal and an overweight BMI.  Never again will I be 424 pounds!  But, do I feel confident in maintaining my success and continuing to enjoy my life as a successful weight loss surgery patient?  Yes, No, Maybe?  All of the above…

My answer is that it depends on the particular day.  Some days I feel like I have this totally in hand, I know what I will eat, I know when I will work out, I just do it.

Other days I wake up feeling huge.  I look in the mirror and can’t seem to find anything I like about myself.  I get to the gym and get my exercise in and sometimes that is the cure.  I feel good when I’m done, I feel accomplished and strong and healthy and ready to take on my day.  Go get ‘em girl! 

Still other days I get to the gym, have a good work out, feel pretty good when I am done, and then, by the time I get to the office I am questioning myself again.  What would I give for a sausage and cheese biscuit?  Uh, oh.  Can’t think like that.  My band can have the sausage and the cheese, but the biscuit would be pure hell.  So it’s my yogurt, blueberries and almonds and on with my day.

Choices - will I have my smoked salmon for lunch?  Will I go for a walk around the building?  Will I stop at the convenience store in the parking lot for an iced tea and pistachios or pretzels?  What will I have for dinner?  Am I going to have dessert or am I done for the day?  Will I get in all of my water?  Have I gained any weight?  Have I lost any weight?   What are we doing this weekend?  What should we get our grandson for his birthday?  Where are we going on vacation?  When are we going on vacation?

The point I am trying to illustrate is that life is full of choices.  I can choose to get out of bed and greet the day with a smile, greet my reflection in the mirror with love and live each day as the best it can be.  These are my choices to make.  I know I feel best when I exercise in the morning, eat healthy foods for my meals and do not have processed foods or sugar substitutes in my diet.  Have I reached a point of being 100% all of the time - NO WAY.  I am a human being, I am not perfect, I can and do embrace those imperfections for those are what make me who I am, those are what make me unique, and those imperfections, that humanity is what motivates me, in the words of one of the dearest members of Banded Living, “To Keep on Keeping on.”

To stay in the game, to keep yourself motivated, enjoy each and every day.  Find some joy in your life, find an NSV to celebrate.  Saturday morning I took a new sundress in to be hemmed.  I was in the tiny dressing room at the dry cleaners where I get my alterations done and stepped out in my new dress feeling a bit self conscious.  I am 63 years old and shall I just say I was scantily attired under the dress.  The dress fits like a glove.  The nice 40ish year old gentlemen who I almost slammed the door into stepped back, looked at me, smiled and said, “You look gorgeous.” Speechless, I smiled back, said thank you and looked away.  Gorgeous, why not?  I’ll take it, even though I think he was just being polite.  Gorgeous, now I have to find an occasion to wear that dress- soon!  Gorgeous, will it be easier to choose grilled fish and steamed veggies over steak and potatoes, you bet!  I still don’t quite believe him, I think I frightened him when I suddenly popped out of this tiny closet like structure and he didn’t know what to say, but I will remember that smile and those words and use that little victory to help me believe in me and my ability to “keep on keeping on.”

Let’s start each day by getting out of bed, looking at ourselves in the mirror, and saying “You are gorgeous!” I dare you!