This past month has been quite significant for me on many fronts.  I realized that if I was going to live my dream any time soon there were some fears I needed to confront and get through.  Most of them dealt with physical issues because avoidance and denial had not been working well.  Here’s a brief of what happened:

Since my Lap Band and Plication “re-surgery” in November 2014, I had been having some heartburn when I was swimming early in the morning.  This was a little annoying, but nothing I couldn’t tolerate.  This past month the heartburn became worse, occurring more frequently and at odd moments in time.  I just lived with it and ate and drank around it.  I had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for 1/28 and figured we would discuss it then.  I spent the week before my appointment coming up with reasons to cancel and re-schedule - the primary being I didn’t want to get on the scale in my doc’s office because my weight was up a few pounds.  DUH!!!  Was it my choice of cookies and chips to “stuff” the stress I was under from other sources that was causing the rise of the heartburn?  I could kill two birds with one stone if I took control and tried to figure that out.  On Sunday I removed all processed junk from my house and my food plan, and committed to dealing with my stressors by changing what was in my control to change, and letting go of what I couldn’t control.  Hmmm, Monday not so many heartburn incidents.  Was I on to something here?

I continued eating clean and on Thursday at the appointment with my Bariatric Surgeon all of my body bloat was gone, the scale had moved down (still up 4 from my lowest), and the heartburn had receded to when swimming and when taking my supplements, and sometimes when drinking water or tea. 

I had convinced myself that my band had slipped, and that Dr. Billy would want to do a complete unfill and at least a swallow test, if not another endoscopy.  WRONG!!!  When I spoke my fear of a slip he reminded me that my stomach was plicated (folded and stitched), and it would be mighty hard for it to slip above the band placement, and he had NEVER had a slip with his band/plication patients.  I breathed a sigh of release and then immediately went to the place of what if I am his first?  He said he could take two routes - the first was to do nothing and have me return in 4-6 weeks, and see if the heartburn is still there while I am choosing foods that I know serve my journey. The second was to begin unnecessary testing that would most likely prove to him that nothing was happening.  And, if I had any concern in between appointments I was to call him immediately.  Again, deep sigh of relief and I have chosen the first route - pay attention, wait, and see.  I am pleased to say that the heartburn continues to diminish.

My point is that I faced my fear (the fear of a slip or at least something being wrong, went to see the doctor and together we have a plan of action that takes the worry out of the equation….DUH!!  Again, remove the worry, reduce the stress and heartburn resolves…..Hmmmmmm.

Second situation:

I will need knee replacement surgery at some point in my life.  I am able to deal with the pain now, my activities are somewhat limited but not so much that my quality of life is truly affected - so I have been putting it off.  THAT is only 1 of the reasons I have been putting it off.  The other is I need the surgery in the same leg that had a blood clot many years ago - the same leg that is always swollen, carries several pounds of fluid more than the other leg, and my veins in both legs are shot…. 

Both the surface and the deep venous system valves are faulty.  I know that nothing can be done to “repair the veins” however the last time I was at the orthopedic surgeon for my semi-annual shot of “joint juice” (synthetic synovial fluid which helps keep me mobile) I spoke to this fear - the one of actually losing my leg because of circulation problems after he did the surgery.  He immediately made a referral to a vascular specialist.  I saw him, had ultrasounds of my veins and arteries done, spent a month between appointments worrying about having a blood clot in my hip or thigh because he didn’t “like” that swelling. 

Another stressor that I was stuffing by “eating” and perhaps a contributor to my heartburn.  The net result of my appointment with him is that there is nothing that can be done for my venous system (in other words he can’t fix them surgically) BUT he may be able to address the swelling in my leg - he is sending me for PT for 6 weeks for lymphatic massage and he expects there will be a considerable reduction in the swelling.  NOBODY ever suggested anything like this before.  I am excited and hopeful.  Once we see the net results of the PT, I then have to get a compression stocking and wear it as often as I can tolerate it…..  That part I don’t like but will try to do my best with since it may mean that I can easily find pants or jeans “off the rack” that will fit both thighs and also that I will be more physically comfortable (Tightness, heaviness and aching in my leg will be minimized). 

Once again I faced my worst fear - that of another blood clot, and came through it with some sort of resolution to my problem.  Wow, no heartburn at all last night….. Could I truly be on to something?

These are two of my issues, my fears, my problems, my stressors.  There are others in my life.  There are others in your life as well if you are reading this.

The ONLY solution to FEAR is to Face Everything And Rise no matter what it is.  Our heads always make matters worse when we allow a concern to stew, become a fear, and not deal with it.  Doesn’t matter if it’s a personal medical concern, a relationship issue, a professional issue.  In the end, it’s all the same.  Worry and fear will wind up causing stress - and stress causes other symptoms and illness.

As in every other area of our lives WE get to choose how we deal.  What’s your choice?