I was on the elliptical at the gym this morning when the woman 2 machines over caught my eye (my music was blasting in my ears) and told me I was looking really good.  I said thank you and went on with my cardio, but the evil part of my brain started sending messages that sounded like this:

• She has no idea how much I weigh
• How can she say I look good?
• What does she know?
• If only…

I think most of you will be familiar with that destructive train of thought I am mentioning.  Why do we tear ourselves down instead of just breathing, accepting the compliment, smiling, and taking it as a non-scale victory for the day? 

Why is it that we do not feel comfortable accepting compliments from other people - that we look good?

Why do we measure our success by looking through lenses tainted by “Barbie Doll” like images that are not attainable, regardless of how many hundreds of pounds we lose, or how hard we work?

In my humble opinion, it is the years of being told by my Mother that I needed to lose weight, the mixed signals I received with harsh words when I wasn’t dieting, and the offers of chocolate cake when I was dieting!  Neither did me any good.  I was never quite good enough for Mom - in my perception.  It didn’t matter that I graduated high school at 16 years old, had almost perfect SAT scores, a 3.95 Grade Point Average, and could have written my own ticket - to any school I wanted to attend.  What mattered was how I looked.  Or so I thought, in her later years she realized that being healthy and happy, with a loving family, was really most important and she began communicating that to me. 

Physical beauty can be a gift or a curse.  Either way it is only on the surface.  What truly matters is what is in the heart.  In my heart I know that whether I am at my lowest weight since surgery, or at the upper end of my comfort zone - I have done a great job, I am alive and healthy, and living a life I never dreamed possible.  I am 70 years young, have never, and will never have that Barbie Doll look, and that is okay.  I am enough as I am, today in this very moment.

I am comfortable in my own skin, proud of the work that I have done, and that I continue to do.

So how do I shut off those negative thoughts in my brain?  I shout out loud or in my head STOP!  Then I replace them with positive words:

• I am doing great today
• I look pretty good for 70
• She is fairly new to the gym, good for her for working on herself
• If only I could tell the whole world how great it feels to exercise, have energy, and actually feel my muscles I would…

Isn’t that a much more pleasant way to finish my elliptical workout and move on to the weight training?

Yes, I really do shout out STOP when I am alone and having negative thoughts.  Have you ever tried it?