OK, today’s blog is really about women, how our bodies change shape during our journeys after weight loss surgery and how we can put things sort of where they belong.  So, if you’re not ready to hear it, tune out now, or join me in some real life experience.

I started at 424 pounds.  I lost a total of 250 pounds.  At 50 pounds down my skin began to get loose in strange places.  By 100 pounds down it was hanging in those very same places.  At 150 pounds down, well, you get the picture and it is NOT a pretty one.  I was feeling good about myself, feeling good about my accomplishments, moving every single day, but the suit of skin that had been stretched out for years was not going to be snapping back in place as if I were 16 years old.  My tummy hung way low, my bat wing arms were truly a sight to not behold, and the girls…well, let’s just say they no longer resembled what they were intended to look like.  They hung straight down.  I guess that since my stomach hung straight down too it was kind of no harm, no foul.  Doesn’t mean I liked it one bit.  It’s just the way things were - hanging!

So there I was two years out, over 200 pounds lighter, wanting to shop for fun clothes but I had to make sure the fabrics all were stretchy enough to deal with my jiggles and wiggles and shrinkles.  I knew that the Universe had provided the invention of fabrics with at least 10% spandex just for ME and me alone.  Pants or jeans with spandex helped hold in my hanging pannus, tops with spandex in them kept the bat wings and the upper belly and back rolls at bay.  So that’s what covered the outside.  How about under all of that?  Was I still going to wear my tidy whities and whatever bra I could shove the girls in to?  I didn’t like that idea one bit.  Someone suggested I go get fitted at Victoria’s Secret.  I could not even begin to imagine doing that since here I was, 57 years old and going to be fitted by teenagers with measuring tapes hung round their necks and headsets on as if they were performing for an MTV video.  

Nope, not me!  Someone suggested I go to Main Street, downtown Ventura and visit Aphrodite's, a lingerie shop.  I immediately began to balk at the idea, thinking in my head this was a “toy store” and nothing more.

After I shut up for a minute and listened, it was explained to me that this shop could fit anyone, from the smallest to the biggest and everyone in between.  So I sucked it up and went to the store, alone and in abject fear of what was to happen.  Oh no, as I walked in a saw a couple of ladies with tape measures round their necks, but, lo and behold, no headsets on.  As a matter of fact, both of them had reading glasses slid way down their noses so they could look up and see me, and look down and see the numbers on the tape measure or the size on the tag with the lingerie.  They looked safe enough for me to approach them.

I told these ladies my WLS story.  They were encouraging and complimentary and immediately ushered me into a fitting room, removed my shirt, tsked, tsked at my bra and measured me.  then came the trying on.  First of all, the store owner, Laurie, lovingly known as the Bra Nazi, “taught” me the proper way of settling the girls in.  when I was done laughing I noticed…hmmmm as I lifted my arms up and bent and twisted nothing moved, everything stayed where we put it.  The girls were not only where they belonged, they were staying put.  Wow, I could get used to that!  Great thing about this shop, these ladies and the entire experience was first of all they offered me 10% off just because they knew it would make me happy and they were right.  Secondly they gave me business cards with 10% off printed on the back for me to circulate at my support group meeting.  Third they said they could start with something that was a little snug, put an extender on it and then I could remove it if I was still losing weight or changing shape.  They were willing to accommodate my needs however they were able.  They were nice, I didn’t feel like they were meeting up outside the fitting room to point fingers at me and laugh.  They truly wanted to help.

My friend Ayeshah Ghrelinbegone posted on her Facebook page today that she loved going into her lingerie store, Soma Intimates and that a good fitting bra was a requirement for us for sure.  I asked her for some words of wisdom and her reply was a good fitting bra gives you shape and keeps the girls looking smooth and perky, and besides, walking into any sort of “normal” size store and being able to select from the pretties you are looking at is a huge game changer for the psyche.  I so agree with all of that. 

I had plastic surgery.  My lower body lift was first, so it was back to Aphrodite's for some bra and undies sets.  I felt PRETTY and when you feel that way that is what you project to the world around you.  Every nickel I spent in that shop has been so worth it.  I had another plastic surgery, this time taking care of both of the girls as well as my arms.  When I was healed and ready to shop for the new ME I am not sure who was more excited, Laurie or me…I had fun, I spent way too much money, I threw out or donated everything in my underwear drawer and even in sweats, I knew if I got hit by a bus crossing the street, the nurses in the ER would want my undies!

Final part of support can be beautiful and necessary is the day I went in and told Laurie I wanted a bustier, even if I never wore it anywhere, I wanted to try them on.  Well, okay you figured it out.  Ninety dollars and one gorgeous purple and black bustier later I was in heaven.  I had black lace undies, a purple and black bustier and I was ready to go home to my husband of 40+ years and strut my stuff, never even imagining I would go out in public wearing anything of the sort.  WRONG!  First time I wore it in public was with a pair of black slacks, high heeled black sandals and a thin, black, v neck, ¾ sleeve silk cardigan over it.  Only the strings that peeked through the bottom of the cardigan would tell my story.  I was in the Dominican Republic, on vacation and going out for dinner, drinks and some casino time with my man.  What a fun night.

Then I needed a Halloween costume for an OAC convention.  Hmmmm, how about gypsy?  Black ruffled skirt, purple and black bustier, orange and red and black scarves ties around my hips and my head, skeleton earrings inside my signature big hoops and yup, wore it in front of hundreds of people and was not a bit self conscious.  I was having fun.

The moral of the story is find yourself a specialty shop, get fitted, keep those girls in line, and ENJOY LIFE and the new YOU!  We’ve certainly earned it.

P.S.  My friend Ayeshah will be the MC at the Fashion show at the Obesity Help Convention October 4th and 5th and I will have a booth there along with Banded Wendy, aka Proofwlsworks so come one, come all and visit all of us and maybe go see Mickey Mouse too since it’s right there, almost around the corner from Disneyland.