If I’ve learned one thing these past 14 years after my weight loss surgery it’s that I am a force to contend with.  I have always been assertive, even at 424 pounds, somehow I hid my self esteem issues well.  As the weight kept piling on in those last few years and my world became smaller so did my drive to do anything - be it social events, going shopping, visiting the grandkids or other relatives.  I hated who I had become.  I was a sloth, pushing as hard as I could through each day, successful at everything except living my life.

Then I had weight loss surgery and started looking at life differently.  I decided from the day that I chose to have surgery that I would trust the process and have faith in the fact that with this tool of weight loss surgery I could get the weight off and start to enjoy life again.  As the weight came off I became more confident in my ability to succeed at this.  It was wonderful.  I was satisfied for the first time in my life with small portions of food.  What a gift, to not have to stuff myself to feel satisfied.

Then the honeymoon ended, yes, even with a Lap Band there is a honeymoon period.  I wanted to be “normal” again- whatever that might mean.  In my food addicted brain that meant having cookies or chips or popcorn or chocolate.  Wow, what a shocker when my weight stabilized then started creeping up a few pounds.

Guess what folks?  I am NOT normal.  I have been surgically altered so that I could lose weight and keep it off if I ate protein first and my surgery was not about to do all the work for me since it didn’t choose my food.  I was responsible for that.  I quickly realized that I was not in fact invincible, I pushed the envelope and it hit me in the face as it sprung back.  What happened was those processed carbs that I thought I could have a few of - became triggers and they were slider foods which went down easily and those few became a whole sleeve, most of the bag, ½ of the box and then kept growing from there.  The “protein” or diet ice cream was tasty, but one was never quite enough.  I was lucky because I had a good exercise program going when I was testing my limits so I only gained a few pounds and was able to take them off.

I found that I CAN avoid trigger foods, it’s so much easier than trying to have just one - if you get my drift.  I learned that I could recreate most recipes to be bariatric friendly and started really experimenting with cooking foods that had my desired 10:1 ratio - 1 gram of protein for every 10 calories.  The carbs and the fats seemed to take care of themselves when I followed that simple rule that I discovered somewhere between 2004 and 2006.  I loved experimenting in the kitchen I found out that I CAN become a great cook, make delicious meals and feed myself, my husband, my daughter and my grandkids without them really caring that the meals were also bariatric friendly for me.  My husband even lost some weight.  Imagine that!

Fitness was another area that went from I Can’t to I Can in a pretty amazing way.  At 424 lbs I could barely walk.  When I had lost 100 lbs I realized that I needed to do more than just the walking that I had started doing.  I wanted to get fit and while walking was a good thing, it wasn’t enough for me.  So I started swimming.  It was a pain in the rear to get in the pool for the 1 or 2 laps that I was going to do but I persevered, and that one lap turned into an hour of swimming laps 5-7 days a week.  I was developing muscles.  This was fun!  I learned that I Can get fit. 

After a few years of swimming and walking, I added elliptical “running” and weight training to my regimen and now I REALLY have muscles.  It’s really energizing to look at the body that I have been developing and feel it’s strength.  This new body was able to land a 140 pound marlin and that took a lot of strength and endurance, neither of which I had at 424 pounds.  I have learned that while I CAN’T be the best-looking body in the gym, I CAN be my best looking body and keep improving on ME and building strength and endurance… and muscle.  This has allowed me to hike at the top of Sandia Mountain at 10,000 feet, walk easily up and down the streets of Durango, Colorado - swim, snorkel and spend hours in the water in French Polynesia, and have energy left over.

Eating in restaurants was another I Can’t because I have no self-control or will power.  That was what I thought.  Four weeks after my surgery I traveled to Connecticut for a wedding and found that YES I CAN eat in restaurants, order protein the way I wanted and needed it, leave the bread (a trigger) off the table and continue to lose weight.  It just progressed from there.  For the first year or two I kept it to dinners out unless we were on vacation or out of town and tried to go to places that had crab legs or shrimp on the menu.  Both had low calories, were favorite foods of mine and the crab took me forever to eat my portion.  I’ve expanded from there adding scallops, yellow fin tuna, fresh salmon and halibut and steak as preferred entrees.  I CAN do this.

When my band developed a leak and I was hungry too often, and gaining a bit of weight, I found a way to slow things down.  I CAN use high fiber roasted vegetables to keep me feeling full, along with my protein first choice of course. 

I just spent 3 hectic weeks on the road, traveling a total of 15,350 air miles and not being in my kitchen for that time.  There was a family death which lit my emotional eating fire as well as vacation foods with small portions of rich, gourmet desserts served after 4 course meals… I may not have cleaned my plate, but I sure did take at least a bite of everything.  My body, my mind and my scale all showed this, along with some of what I gave into to numb myself with emotional eating.  That’s the bad news… the good news is I CAN change that and I AM in fact changing that right now.  By going back to what works - protein and low carb produce prepared in delicious recipes so that I Can drop weight, gain energy, and begin to fully feel like myself again.

Yes, it’s hard sometimes, and often life presents sucky situations, and we’re all so busy we don’t have time for our own priorities, but nobody ever said this would be easy.  By turning my “I Can’ts” into “I Cans” suddenly a lot of life that had been passing me by became “I AMS”.

I challenge you to create the time for something you have been putting off because you just Can’t.

What is one I Can’t that you’re willing to turn into an I Can today?  Tell me, I’m here to help you do it.