Here it is, the start of a New Year.  It's a time for reflection, to look at the past year and see which of our resolutions we managed to "keep".  It's the time when we all make new lists of promises to ourselves that we have all sorts of good intentions of keeping.  Lists that include things like:

• No sweets
• Exercise 2 hours daily
• No alcohol
• More family time
• Lose 100 pounds
• Get out of debt
• Get organized
• Travel to new places
• Reduce stress
• Quit smoking

Many of us (I am definitely on the list) make resolutions for the New Year because we know we SHOULD.  Everyone needs goals, right?  Right, but with a few "caveats". 

I remember all of the diets I started on January 1^st, after spending New Year's Eve overindulging in food and drink.  I would pledge to start a diet and lose weight- be it 10, 20, 50 or 100 pounds.  I would do it because I needed to and knew I should.  Hmmm how long did that last?  Until someone offered me a cookie or a piece of candy.  Well, maybe I held out with the first offer, but by the time the offer came for that next cookie, just how was I supposed to say no?

How about exercising 2 hours a day?  If you are like me you might do it once and then, when you woke up with your body in excruciating pain, you clearly had an excuse to take a couple of days, or maybe the rest of your life off.  But I should exercise, shouldn't I?

Getting out of debt is another good one.  I would usually start off this resolution singing the "if I can't pay cash for it I can't have it" song.  But then, look down the list....I see travel to new places on that list.  So how am I supposed to travel if I can't use my credit card to get there?  And, I have to have new clothes if I am going on a vacation adventure, right?

Reduce stress.  Ok, that sounds great and could be easy for some of you out there, but for me????  If I am on a diet, exercising until my body is tied up like a pretzel and having to shop for new clothes so I can go on my adventure trip to an unknown place, well this is all SO STRESSFUL.  I need a drink...and a cigarette.  I have clearly bitten off much more than I can chew and have sabotaged myself into inaction.  Yay me?

You get the picture.  Actually it's many pictures if you stop and analyze.  That is, unless making lists is one of your resolutions.  Then you will have succeeded.

There are a few things going on here that are sure fire indicators of failure.  The first being this list is probably identical to last year's list of resolutions.  What makes you think that repeating the process year after year will get you anywhere?  I spent 53 of the 56 years I lived before having weight loss surgery dieting and failing.  Once I had a tool to help and the resolve and a plan of action I was able to succeed in losing weight and keeping it off.  Are you making lists of things you are not going to accomplish or do you want to set a plan in motion to get something done in the next 12 months?  Are you only listing your "faults" - what needs fixing, or are you going to reflect on what you have accomplished in the past year and how you did it?  Are your resolutions a wish list, a list of "shoulds", or are they actionable items that you can reasonably accomplish given where you are in your life at this moment?  Even though the sky is the limit and we have the ability to do amazing things, we have to step out of the clouds for a moment, however briefly, set ourselves on the ground and figure out how we are going to soar higher and farther than we ever have before.  I call this a plan.

Let's look at these typical New Year's resolutions with a plan in mind and see what they can morph into.

• No sweets - Once I tell myself NO it makes me want to do it more, whatever it is. I guess I enjoy defiance. How about I will plan my meals and my snacks for one week at a time and stick to the plan? A little easier to swallow perhaps?
• Exercise 2 hours daily - So I am expected to get myself out of my Lazy Boy Recliner, where I have been enthroned for the past xxx years and just go work out for Two hours daily. No Way! Not happening. When I started swimming laps at over 300 pounds 7 years ago I started for 5 minutes 3 times weekly then worked it up to 15 and then continued from there to 1 hour daily 5-6 days a week. Five minutes, NOT two hours. How about starting out with 20 minutes 2-3 times a week and increasing it from there. Set up interim goals with dates - by March I will be exercising for 30 minutes three times weekly, by June 45 minutes four times weekly. There is both clarity and possibility here.
• No alcohol - Here comes the defiant child to the NO word. When I started on my weight loss surgery journey I knew I would not give up alcohol forever. I just wasn't sure how I would be able to integrate it into my life again. I did give it up completely for 6 months while I learned the new habits of dining and tasting and enjoying my food for the first time in forever. At 6 months I allowed myself a glass of wine with dinner on Saturday night or on a special occasion. That's where I remain, a glass of wine with dinner on the weekend or on a special occasion. Once in a rare while I will have a martini or a margarita but I have to be aware of the excessive calories these have and do "extra time" at the gym the next day and adjust my other food intake accordingly.
• More family time - I translated this into dinner with my daughter and grandkids at least once a week. It has become almost a ritual for us. We get to spend time together AND I make chocolate chip cookies for my grandson who tells me I make the best cookies in the world. By the way, I believe him.
• Lose 100 pounds - All those years that this was a should and then grew to 150 pounds, 175 pounds, 200 pounds and more I did very little but diet and lose some and then put more back on. Once I decided that I wanted to lose weight because I was choosing LIFE over the downward spiral of not being able to move or enjoy anything, and had my weight loss surgery as the tool to assist me this became possible. I also learned that this was not about dieting, but about changing my relationship with food. I enjoy food, but now I actually taste it!
• Get out of debt - Once again, when this is a should I put up all sorts of barriers and no plans to make this happen. How about sitting down, creating a budget and checking once a week to make sure I am staying within budget and adjusting as necessary. I can do that. But I'm still going shopping at the outlets....
• Get organized - Nice statement, but what does it really mean? I can organize my desk by the end of January, the upstairs closet by the end of February.....get the picture?
• Travel to new places - Does this mean go to Bakersfield, or to the top of Mt. Whitney, or just to be able to travel on an airplane with no seat belt extender, or fit on the rides at an amusement park? At 424 pounds, before weight loss surgery, traveling to new places was actually walking through a department store. I couldn't do it without pain and a tremendous output of energy and a lot of embarrassment at being stared at by everyone. Now I travel all over the world. It's exhausting, but gratifying to have the experiences my obesity previously denied me.
• Reduce stress - The setting of specific, measureable and realistic goals is step one for reducing a lot of stress in my life. All of the "shoulds" miraculously disappear. I have bite size chunks of things to do that I choose to do to enhance my life.
• Quit smoking - This is something I did years ago, both because I should and because I WANTED to. It was the first addictive behavior I was able to lick and I needed support to get out of the habit, much as I need support of people and my weight loss surgery tool to stay "clean" of my food addiction. I left this in because it is a noble resolution that anyone who is still a smoker should resolve to do. If your mission is to be healthy you will find a way, make a plan and reach for the support you need to achieve this goal.

This list of resolutions appears a little more manageable to me once I have put context to each of them.  I just picked some of the most frequently made resolutions to make my point.  Take life in small bites and chew thoroughly.  It is one of the Lessons of Successful Lap Band Patients that can be applied in all areas of life.

As we start this New Year, my 8^th year after having my LAP BAND® surgery, my 8^th year with a tool that has supported me on a journey I never thought possible full of amazing accomplishments that we in this community of weight loss surgery patients call NSV's (non scale victories) I would like to take a moment to acknowledge all of you who have achieved your own personal victories that may include, but are definitely not limited to any of the following:

• Saw my toes
• Tied my shoelaces
• Fit in a booth at a restaurant
• No seat belt extender required
• Shopped in a regular size store
• Fit a towel around me
• Fit in the rides at Disney Land, Disney World or any amusement park
• Walked a mile
• Ran a mile
• Swam a mile
• Bicycled a mile
• Bought a bathing suit
• Wore pantyhose
• Made a muscle and saw and felt it
• Played on the floor with my kids/grandkids
• Had a lap for them to sit in
• Hugged by my significant other and their arms fit all the way around
• Got a second look as I walked by

There are so many, many more I can't possibly cover them all.  My personal favorite, for me, this year was realizing that I was putting on my jeans without sitting down or leaning against anything - I was balancing my own weight.

Now that I can see how far I have come this past year I can think about what I want to accomplish in the coming year.  My #1 New Year's resolution for 2012 is to continue to learn how to love myself so that I can continue to achieve amazing results in my life, one bite at a time.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!